Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Mummy’s entry – “Don’t want mei-mei”

Guess it’s too good to be true if Rye Li really didn’t have problems adjusting to her new mei-mei. In the first week, she was alright with some unhappy faces now and then.

However, in the second week, more like over the weekend, she started showing her true colours. I guess it’s also due to the fact that she didn’t have a nap that day. She wanted milk and then changed her mind that she wanted milo and she wanted to make it herself. So I said I will teach her and then I found her toys to be scattered everywhere on the floor and asked her to put them back. She reluctantly did it with a black face and took her own sweet time. So I hurried her with a lot of nagging and still it didn’t work. So I took the cane out and she hurried a little but wanted me to help her. By this time I was too mad to help her and started threatening her with the cane. Till this day, I have yet to use the cane on her but only to threaten her when she gets out of line.

I guess having the cane also didn’t work and I was boiling mad already. So I nagged her and told her that I will take all her toys and throw them away and so I packed the toys into a bag and kept them out of sight. I also didn’t want her to think that the cane is only for ‘show’ so I used it for the first time on her hand. She cried after that pitifully and went to her room on her own and cried on her bed. I let her be for a while.

After that, I went to her and asked her to apologize and told her that I will make her milk and to lie down in her room. I added that I will also sleep with her. She didn’t dare to ask for her milo as she knew I was boiling mad already. After she drank her milk, she fell asleep with me at her side. I wanted to be there for her when she got up but she slept through our dinner time so we left her be in her room.

When she got up, I was already with Haye Li and I guess she wasn’t happy with that sight. She starting making a fuss, not listening to us at all. This time, Haye Li also wanted to be nursed. And Rye Li insisted that I carried her. So I passed Haye Li to hubby and asked Rye Li to come onto my lap on the sofa (I don’t dare to carry her just as yet since she is pretty heavy). I tried reasoning with her but her mood was pretty messed up already. Then she said “Don’t want mei-mei” and I went, “Ok, if you don’t want mei-mei, mummy will find an uncle or aunty out there who wants mei-mei and I will give mei-mei away”. She wasn’t happy with this either but whatever it was, no matter how much coaxing we gave her, she refused to let me nurse Haye Li then and the poor baby was crying too. Luckily, I had a bottle of expressed milk in the fridge and hubby warmed that up for her.

So I tried coaxing the big baby for a while and she asked for Milo. She actually remembered the events before her nap and asked that she wants to make it herself. And so I gave in and only then she said “Ok, mummy, mei-mei” and pointed at me and then to Haye Li (indicating that I can nurse her now). I just told her “Too late already girl, papa already warm up the bottle! And now I got to go and pump”).

Since that day, it has been a struggle now and then when she’s home (this is why I insisted that she still goes to the daycare as I would not be able to handle two kids at one go even with help at home as she wants my attention too!). It’s interesting when I reminded her that she said doesn’t want mei-mei anymore so whoever comes to my place, I would tell her that they would take her mei-mei back and she would not allow this saying “Nobody take my mei-mei, my mei-mei is mine!”. As much as she is jealous over her new sister’s existence, she is also very protective over her.

We also had our fair share of:-

“I hate mei-mei”
“I want to fight with mei-mei’
“I don’t want to friend / talk to mei-mei”

When I’m in a better mood, I will reason with her on what she had just said. But when I’m already tired, I will ignore what she just said.

We are also learning how to deal with two kids at the same time. It is very exhausting and I’m so careful not to overdo my conversations with Haye Li in front of the big baby so my bonding with her is only when Rye Li is not around. Or when I do have conversations with her in front of Rye Li, I will need to include Rye Li too.


Mummy to QiQi said...

even my girl loves her brother, she will still do something harmful to them now. Just be patient and let the phase passby :p

KittyCat said...

Hahaha Mummy has a lot of "balancing" to do eh? I think you've handled it really well :)

I'd do the same too. Reading this post helps me understand why my elder sis is jealous of me sometimes!!!

No worries eh coz I ended up 'idolising' her until she got fed up for me. Even now, she's quite protective of me...worse than my own mother sometimes LOL

wen said...

she will get used to mei mei, give her time.

Vien said...

It will get better. Trust me. :)