Sunday, July 06, 2008

Mummy’s entry – What a night, what a day!

The girl has been having fever since Monday. And Tuesday night was one of the worst nights I ever had with her in terms of her tantrums. Looking back, I guess it was also my fault as I should have known better that she being cranky and sick, she would want me more than she wants her papa. Whenever her papa is around, I will usually let him handle her before her bedtime. This is part of us preparing her for Baby 2’s arrival.

So that night, I told her that her papa will be giving her shower while I have mine and she refused. I didn’t really bother with her and went ahead for my shower and that was when she started acting up. By the time I was done with my shower, she still hasn’t had hers and I gave in to her to give her a shower. But by this time, she was already in her foul mood and didn’t cooperate at all. After persuading and all for what seem like a long time and that didn’t work, we forced her to have her shower (hubby held her while I did the rest) and this was the beginning of her screaming and crying for 1 and a half hour!

Throughout all that screaming and crying, nothing could calm her down. One second she wants this, and then I gave in to her, and then she changed her mind and want that. And when I gave her that, she wants this back. Hubby was around but she didn’t want him at all! In the end, I was already tired and had enough and went to sleep ignoring her. This made it worst and she started screaming more. I covered my head with the pillow and she came to me screaming for my attention and I continued ignoring her. She pulled the pillow, pulled my hair, tried to bite me, grabbed my pajamas, shook me, scratched me and I ignored her. The last straw was when she dug deep into the corner of my forehead with her nails and I yelled, got up and smacked her bum. I went out of the room and got the rotan (malay: cane).

This rotan was bought some time last year in preparation for her terrible twos then but I have never introduced it to her till now.

When I brought the rotan in the room, I used it several times on the wall (never on her as I also don’t have the heart to even though I was so pissed mad then) as I wanted the impact of the sound to scare her. I could see that she was scared of it after she realized what it was and when I told her that if she is not going to stop crying, I will cane her. In the end, she agreed to be quiet and I put the cane back to where it belongs. She calmed down after that and finally slept after I soothed her. And this was like 11-30pm already.

An hour later, she got up again and started another round just when I was finally falling asleep. With all that noise, Baby 2 was also pretty active inside and probably from me getting mad as well that I could not sleep well. Again, this time round nothing could calm her down. This went on for a while till I got so fed up, I ignored her again. Hubby intervened this time and I told him I don’t know what to do and I cried! I was pretty emotional coz I was tired and it was a horrible start to my birthday too. So hubby tried to calm her down but it made it worst coz she wanted me only. So hubby was like calming us both, his arm was around me while he was reaching to the girl, reasoning with her. She kept on saying “I want mummy, I want mummy” and I think when she realized I’m not bothered anymore, she went “I want say sorry (to) mommy” and repeated this several times before saying “Mummy, wake up” several times. This did the trick as I got up and opened my arms to her, she put 2 of her hands up on her head and said “sorry mummy”. I told her it is okay and that she didn’t have to cry like that, and to tell me what she wanted. Then she said “I want mummy sleep with me” and I told her alright and lay down with her while I soothed her to sleep.

It took me awhile to sleep after that and it was like nearly 2am already. We got up at 8am and I knew I will be late for work. The girl still had a slight fever and slight cough and so I decided to take her to her doctor and then to go see mine as well. I dropped off hubby and the girl first at SJMC while I parked the car. When I arrived outside the clinics area, I realized that the place was pretty empty – if you ever been to SJMC, they are usually packed throughout the week and worst on Saturdays. When I found hubby and the girl, they were talking to the nurse of Rye Li’s previous doctor and I noticed everyone was pretty solemn. Only then I found out that Rye Li’s doctor, Dr. Foo passed away on Sunday and that day was his wake at 11am. The place was empty as the rest of the doctors and some staff were attending it. I was totally shocked and the girl even told me “Dr Foo passed away already” (don’t think she understood what it meant but picked it that phrase up from the conversations).

There was a doctor on call but there were like 7 patients waiting and so we just got her some medicines and left. It seems that Dr. Foo wasn’t feeling well the last 2 months due to tummy problems and his health deteriorated in the last few months. The last the girl saw him was early May and hubby said he looked alright then.

We were all very sad. The girl likes him a whole lot and he was the only pediatrician (Rye Li has seen 6 pediatricians in her life time) I’ve met that actually bonded with his clients, he took the time to bond with Rye Li and he was even affectionate with her (will bring his forehead to hers to gain her trust). And he is the only doctor I know that walks his patients to the door! And we only knew him for less than 9 months and by chance too. Dr. Foo, you will be greatly missed and I know for a long time to come, Rye Li will be asking for you still.

Since then, the girl did ask “why dr. foo no more ady (already)?” and I explained to her that he is in heaven and she went “where (is) heaven?” I replied heaven is up there in the sky and now she will tell me “dr. foo is in heaven, up there in the sky”. She also did ask me why he went there and I said that it is because it is his time. I did add that we all will one day be in heaven too but that is a long, long time to go.

I was comparing to the time my Grandpa passed away and when she attended the funeral. She didn’t ask questions then as I’m guessing she doesn’t know how to. Now, 10 months later, the questions she has to ask, I’m also at a lost on how to answer her. The above was the best that I could as we have not taught her about God yet. She only knows when she sees Buddha, we will have to “pai-pai” (Chinese: pray by putting our hands together).

Back to how the girl behaved the rest of the following nights after that horrible night, she was much better as I prepared her before her bedtime, reminding her of that night. This girl can be reasoned with but that night she was just too sick and cranky to be reasoned. But her cough has worsened and her fever (luckily mild) lasted till today (Sunday). If her fever doesn’t go away tomorrow, I will need to bring her in to see the doctor, and this time, will be back to her original doctor.


vien said...

Oh, what a great loss. I remember you blogging about how good Dr. Foo was.

Eh, don't get rile up..otherwise, #2 will be stressed up. :) It is tough for everyone when the child is sick. Luckily you have ur hub's shoulder to cry on.

KittyCat said...

Wow...that must have been some night!

Dr. Foo sounds wonderful. I can't think of anything to say because I've seen how fast cancer can strike one down.

Hmm...must be tough explaining to Rye Li where Dr. Foo is eh? I know it's tough with Lucas for Grandpa. Hope you'll find another nice paed.