Mummy's entry - Dealing with Death

We had been busy over a month ago, work and personal. The girls' Ah Kong (paternal grandfather) was in the hospital in Penang for just over a month before his body gave way and we lost him on 23rd November 2010.

It was our first time (the girls and I) that we were in Penang 3 times within a month (and for hubby, many more times). The first 2 times were to visit him and shortly after our 2nd time, he passed away and we were back again for a week for his funeral.

It was a shocker to us all as we really thought he was recovering from his quadruple bypass operation he had 3 weeks before. Nonetheless, looking back now, he had lead a wonderful life of 70 years and we got to celebrate with him in July (when I have the time, I will post on the celebrations). We are glad that he got to see his 3 young grandchildren and that he got to travel a lot in the last 4 years (we knew of his heart problem then but he chose not to have the operation and to live his life to the fullest).

This is Rye Li's 3rd time dealing with death. The first was her maternal great grandfather (my grandpa) when she was 1 and a half years old. That was when she knew of heaven and all but the impact was minimal. After a year later, when she was nearly 3 years old, her maternal great grandmother (my grandma) passed away and this is where she has learnt the most about death and heaven. To her, heaven is where people go to when they die. Since then till now, she had asked many questions on death and to one point, she got scared and cried that she doesn't want to die. I'm guessing that she is afraid of losing us and when she does bring this up, I will reassure her that it's a very long time more that any of us will leave this world. She knows that the olders one will leave us first and at times, the sickly young ones will leave.

She knew that her Ah Kong was sick and is in the hospital and she did ask whether he was going to heaven and I told her not yet as we are trying to get his heart fixed. The night when we knew he had left us, I wasn't sure how to tell her the news. I was contemplating whether to tell her that night itself or the next day when we had to leave for Penang. But in the end, I did tell her that night and for the first 5 minutes, her reaction was to ask many questions :-

"How did kong-kong go to heaven?"

"Who took him to heaven?"

"He die already ah?"

After all the questionings and when it finally hit her, she went "I miss kong-kong" and cried. The very next morning, the moment she got up, she told me "Mummy, I dream (t) of kong-kong last night". And when I asked further, she said that he was at the hospital and he was sitting up, smiling at her while she was sitting on his lap (ever since he had his bypass, he had been lying down and his body was still at the hospital that night, they only removed his body to the funeral parlour the next morning). I don't know whether you believe of such things but I did "thank" FIL when we reached the funeral parlour to let her "see" him happily as Rye Li refused to see his body inside the coffin and we did not force her at all.

When she was at my grandma's funeral over 2 years ago, she kept asking to see my grandma in her coffin. I'm assuming it has got to do with age too (since her mei-mei and younger cousin always ask to see him throughout the wake).

Rye Li did not cry at the wake or on the actual funeral day but when we were not at the funeral parlour, she would go "I miss kong-kong" and would show a very sad face. At the wake, she participated mostly during the chants and we were proud of her. She did show fear when we asked her to pray with the joss sticks and only when we told her that she will not see her Ah Kong's body, she would do it. Hubby and I decided not to force her to see as we wanted her to remember her Ah Kong when he was alive.

On the day when we collected his bones after the cremation, we were surprise that she willingly took a piece of his bones (each family member had to take a piece from the container into a small clothed bag before they assisted to put all of them into the bag). FIL had always wanted his remains to be thrown into the sea and we gave him that wish.

Rest in peace Ah Kong!....we will always love you and thank you for care and love especially when you were staying with us.

The following are some pics of his final days with the girls as well as during his wake :-

the girls with Ah Kong at the hospital late October 2010, before his bypass. rye li not so lady-like!

the girls busy playing games while waiting at the hospital, their 2nd trip and also they could not hang out on Ah Kong's bed since it's after his bypass

rye li during the chantings at nights

Rye Li got to mix around with her second cousins (who came from KL and Ipoh)

Rye Li and her mei-mei

The below were taken after the funeral at the crematorium :-

Ah Kong's only 3 young grandchildren

Rye Li and her second cousins from Ah Kong's side

Mummy's update - HFMD

3 weeks back, Rye Li had Hands, Foot, Mouth disease (HFMD). There was a girl at Aunty Ng's (daycare), who is also her classmate at kindy had it first over the weekend and we were warned by Aunty to watch out signs on Rye Li.

On Wednesday itself, we noticed one red dot on her left thumb (the one that she sucks on) and didn't think anything of it. The next day, that night itself, she complaint of pain in her mouth and when we looked inside her mouth, we noticed some white spots already and knew that she also had it. So the next day, both her and her mei-mei, stayed at home with their paternal grandparents who were both down from Penang.

Both hubby and I expected her to whine and moan about her condition since this girl cannot stand pain (compared to her mei-mei who had this in July). But surprisingly, as much as she complaint it was painful to eat and drink, she would eat and that's mainly due to us threatening her that if she doesn't eat, she will have to go to the hospital and that she will need drips. This worked since she is so terrified of needles. I guess it's easier when they're older enough to understand to reasoning.

So she skipped school for several days and I wanted to send her back to both school and daycare the following Wednesday or Thursday (since she has recovered by then) when on Monday night itself, Haye Li also had it (poor Haye Li, had it the second time within 3 months!). So the remaining days of that week, they were put up at their maternal grandparents' since Ah Kong and Ah Por had to go back to Penang. Rye Li had so much fun there and she was really happy especially since she gets to eat ice cream everyday!

The other highlight of her being sick is that finally, she can now miss school officially because she is sick. Usually her friends, skipped school when they were sick and she would compare herself to them especially her classmates who also go to the daycare as they would hang out at the daycare. She had tried numerous times with me when she was coughing or had the flu as to why she cannot just stay at Aunty Ng's like her friends when they were sick. I've always managed to reason with her till now. So, she's really happy that she got to miss school! LOL!

As for her thumb-sucking, the little dot on her thumb became a big blister as she was sucking on it in the first few days she had HFMD. So I told her not to as it would hurt. I didn't really expect her to listen to me as she can be one stubborn girl and also old habits are tough to get rid off. But she has not sucked her thumb since then till now! The first few nights I knew it was tough on her as she could not fall asleep without her thumb so I told her to think of happy things to dream off, etc. She was still touching the fabric of her little bolster's cover, another habit of hers while sucking thumb and she used both hands this time round.

I was praising her after over a week of not sucking her thumb and told her that if she manages not to suck her thumb at all till her birthday year end, on top of what I will get her for her birthday present, she will also get to chose another BIG present. So we shall just see if she manages this or not! :D

Kota Bahru & Perhentian Island - Raya 2009*

*another very backdated post!

Remember this post where mummy missed me when I went for a holiday with papa last September during Raya time? You see, papa had a wedding to attend at Kota Bahru and since there were some friends of his that came from overseas, he thought of extending that trip as well into a holiday at Perhentian island. So he brought me along while mummy and my mei-mei stayed back in KL.

We left very early that morning while it was like very dark outside. I was well prepared ahead about my holidays that I had no problems waking up and also for the very long journey ahead. We were not alone, we had Uncle Tony from China and Kasmin cher-cher to accompany us in the car ride. I slept again in the car ride till we stopped for our breakfast.

very excited about my holidays!

had first class seat, next to papa!

also had first class treatment, got to be entertained throughout the car ride to Kota Bahru

When we reached Kota Bahru, we had some time to chill out at the apartment before the wedding dinner. We spent only a night there.

since mummy's not with us, papa is tasked to tie my hair, something he hardly does as this is mummy's job.


At the wedding dinner, as you can tell, i was very clingy to papa. I wasn't feeling too well halfway and we left early while the rest stayed behind. Papa thought I was sick since I complaint of a tummy ache, but when we got back to the apartment, I was my usual self and didn't even want to sleep.

The next morning, we left Kota Bahru to Kuala Besut for the speedboat ride to Perhentian island at our regular spot, Bubbles resort.

a picture with uncle tony, still getting warm up to him. he tries to take pics with me or of me throughout the trip.

on the speedboat, clinging on to papa

We spent 3 nights at the island and those 3 days were really a chilling out session for me as I was at the beach the whole day, I got to eat my junkfood and ice cream! The following are pictures of me that were mostly taken my uncle Tony's camera. Papa was busy relaxing to take pictures of me.

this little boy, who was also a guest at the resort, was my playmate most of the time



Was being looked after by the bride (yes, the bride and groom came along with us right after their wedding dinner, how cool is that!) when the rest went for diving.

My holidays went by so fast that I was sad to see it end so soon. We were accompanied in the car ride back to Ipoh and then we went our separate ways as the rest went to Gentings after that while papa and I went back home. I was really well behaved this trip and papa was very proud of me and told me that he doesn't mind taking me alone on trips now. When we got back, mummy was very happy to see me but disappointed that I lost some weight - must be all that play and junkfood which I like!!!

Making sushi

We made sushi 2 weekends back and I had fun attempting it for the first time. All the ingredients and preparation were done by papa and mummy.

First, you need to have a seaweed sheet ready on the bamboo mat. And then you spread out some cooked sushi rice on the seaweed sheet.

Then you put some crabstick

And some ebikko (shrimp eggs) and spread out some Japanese mayonnaise. I refused the rest of the ingredients that were also prepared like cucumbers, avacado, lettuce leaves as I like mine just like this.



And then you start rolling from the bamboo mat. Of course, I got some help from my favourite chef!

All rolled up!

And ready to eat! (of course, i had it cut into smaller pieces for easier eating)

And since I've shown some real interests in cooking lately and have been watching those cooking shows on TV with papa, papa got me the following cooking books for children. I'm really happy with them and I cannot wait to try out some of their recipes!

This came with some cooking utensils too! yippie! :D

My 4th Birthday*

*Yes, this is another very backdated post considering with the fact that I will be 5 in 3 months time. Don't blame me that it took sooo long to do update this. :)

I celebrated my 4th birthday last year on 31st December. First thing I did when I got up was to open my birthday presents. They were actually under our Christmas tree but I had to put these aside to wait for my actual birthday.

I didn't go to Aunty Ng's that morning as I had a date with papa. He took me to One Utama to watch Princess & The Frog. We had McDonald's for brunch and I also had the chance to play at the playground as well as sat on several musical rides (something which I hardly ever get the chance to when mummy is around). I even had popcorn while watching the movie and I was really happy!

Later in the late afternoon, we met mummy at home and I was greeted by my birthday cake that I was to celebrate at Aunty Ng's with all my friends. I personally asked for this type of cake "Diamond Castle Chocolate Cake" and I was soooooo happy seeing it.

We went over to Aunty Ng's in the early evening with my birthday cake and this round, no party packs. Mummy said from now onwards (until I have an actual party), there will no longer be any party packs. So since I brought my leftover popcorn from the movie, I gave some to my friends who wanted them.

waiting for the cake to be ready for the birthday song, with the box of popcorn in my hand

chatting with Darien while the other kids all wait for the candles

candles ready, now waiting for someone to light them

posing for mummy

another pose before the birthday song is sung

all of a sudden, feeling so shy when my friends sang to me

cake-eating time, i ate all the icing stuff and mummy had to finish the rest

all my friends at Aunty Ng's enjoying my birthday cake

posing with my presents from Aunty Ng and Aunty Alice

my friends all curious to see what present i had

it's a barbie doll set (i told Aunty Ng what I wanted for my birthday, she also gave me barbie doll last year)

Later that evening, we celebrated my birthday dinner at Dome's. Mummy actually wanted TGIF but they had a fixed menu to usher in the New Year that night so we all settled for Dome's instead.

chosing my complimentary birthday cake, Chocolate Cake (my birthday cake tasted much better)

walking around the restaurant with my mei-mei

after we had our dinner, i was greeted with my complimentary birthday cake by one of the staff

and then, the rest of them came and sang to me. i felt like a princess, okay a very shy one!

actually, what i really wanted for my birthday was some princess jewelry which my parents said to wait for my prince charming to give them to me one day!

I had another birthday cake, made by Aunty Ng specially for me. A doll jelly cake! She also made one for me for my 3rd birthday

This was how I celebrated my 4th birthday last year....wonder if I will celebrate my 5th birthday this year end (just over 3 months time) with a big bang?!!! :D