Sunday, January 20, 2008

Mummy’s entry – Rants of a mother

Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker

It is obvious that I do not have the time to blog lately …so many outdated posts drafted but not yet completed. My plans to go into ppp (pay per post aka making money while blogging) also down the drain, no where near it yet! Work has partly to be blamed, hubby traveling more for work, weekend’s errands also and oh yea, motherhood too!

And speaking of motherhood, I’m at the verge of pulling all my hair out! A two year old is not easy to handle although I’ve received many feedbacks that my girl is such an angel…well, she behaves in public but definitely not at home! Sigh!

Several days ago, I see myself being the nagging mother again (yes, I’ve been in this mode since several months back) but this time it pushed me further to think twice (maybe like a zillion times) whether I want another baby!

That morning, hubby left for work earlier than us (although I was hoping he could take the girl to the daycare). Rye Li was hanging around in my room while I was getting ready for work. She took my clothes from my bed and threw them on the floor.

Upon seeing this, I told her that it not a very nice thing to do and asked her to pick it up and put it back on the bed. She refused. And so the threatening began….if she doesn’t put it back, she will go to her naughty corner….several times. After like the 5th time or so and she still refused, I took her to her naughty corner and left her there (she now doesn’t leave the place until I allow her to).

I went about doing my stuff and let her be, she didn’t let out a cry let alone a sound while she was there.

So when it was time to leave, I asked her one more time whether she’s going to help me put back the clothes on the bed and she said “I don’t want”. And out of the house I went without her. Once I closed the door, the girl started wailing!

I opened the door and she stopped, and so I asked her to go put on her shoes and she said “I don’t want”. And I closed the door again and this time I let her cry for awhile, well more like 15 seconds or so. And when I opened the door, I asked her to go wear her shoes and she went. This girl knows how to wear her shoes (the easy ones) but she asked me to wear it for her and I gave in.

After wearing her shoes, she refused to walk, wanting me to carry her. I was already fuming mad and I told her that she has to walk but she refused. So I told her fine, she can go back to her naughty corner and stay there alone at home. And out of the house I went again. And she was wailing louder this time when I closed the door. Again, I let her be for several seconds when I realized it was close to 9am and I will be very late for work as usual (I have been late for work lately no thanks to the girl).

My blood was boiling by this time when I opened the door, went in and grabbed her, smacked her bum several times (I rarely do this, probably less than 5 times so far) but it didn’t work, the girl didn’t even make a noise when I did. So she got an earful of me while I carried her out of the house and to the lift, telling her that I was very angry at her and as usual, I’m late for work because of her dilly-dallying (she knows this word as I’ve been using for several months now on her) and she is very naughty, throwing things down on the floor and not wanting to put them back, etc.

Once we got to the lift, she asked to walk and immediately after that, I realized why she wanted to walk. She asked for my car keys as she wanted to press on them to unlock my car (I’ve been using this trick to make her walk to and fro from the car). Because I was so angry by this time, I told her no and why I’m not letting her so and to add salt to the wound, I told her that she is not going to listen to her music in the car, in fact she was going to listen to my music. And she immediately put two of her hands to her head and said “Sorry mummy” many, many times. And I responded, “No, your sorry is not going to work this time because you need to be punished”. She went on “sorry mummy” all the way to the car while I was nagging her all that time.

I did feel guilty a little bit and I gave in to her pressing on my car keys except that I held on to the keys. Once inside the car, she did ask for her music and I gave her another round of nagging and why I’m not letting her listen to her music even after she started her “sorry mummy” thingy again.

She realized that I was not giving in this time and went about sucking her thumb and she was like that all the way to the daycare.

I called hubby on the way and gave him an earful of the story too and guess what his reply was?! “So, no need to have no. 2 la!”. Men! ….I was so angry that I told him “My point is, if you can send the girl to the daycare, please do so because I cannot afford to be late for work all the time!”. And he left it as that!

So yes, I’m still contemplating to have no. 2 or not…I don’t think I can do this all over again alone! I cannot tussle with a little kid all the time and I’m sorry for the girl that she’s testing my patience when I cant afford to be patient, like rushing to get work done or going to work. I need my sanity back!

And the irony of all this?! Well, I was missing the girl like mad when I was away for a night last weekend for my company trip, which was several days before she did this to me. It’s been nearly a year since I spent the nights away from her and that night would be the 5th time I’ve ever spent the nights away from her since she was born.

Ah….Motherhood! You just got to love it don’t you!

p.s. it took me 2 days just to finish this post! Sigh!


mjey said...

HI dear..i really can understadn wht you going through. With Shaveena turning 5this year I am nagging more then ever! Hubby and I have both given up with her bad attitude in public - so much so we avoid taking her to functions now. Even at home - she is hardly behaving well. We just dunno wht to do. My boy on the other hand seems to behave - but he is turning two soon! And he seems to watch watch what his sis does..and we are in trouble if he follows her....Fingers Cross!!

You know wht - if you plan to have NO 2..dnt let rye li's naughtiness stop you...she is just a kid.. it will pass - having the love of your kid/kids around you will only make you a better person no matter how naughty they are.

All the best!

wen said...

my kids r like ur rye li esp my girl, but then mayb she just wants ur attention.i am oso like u too, my kids are always testing my patience too, but kids r like that lor.. when we r in that scenario, we cant think of anything except being angry and mad, but after that, u will feel bad one.. at least u still hv daycare, i dont, i watch them day and night..sigh..

ESPÍRITU said...

The light that I leave you is of the color of my life...)
you have yahoo to BABEL FISH to understand the words.

Leave a comment:)

KittyCat said...

Hang in there ok! If it helps, I face the same problem even at home with Lucas too...i.e. naughty corner. Our room is the place for VERY naughty things e.g. throw stuff, hit me etc. I just make him stay there with door open. After reading about fear of rejection, I decided not to close it!

One other effective way is remove the FUN stuff e.g. fav music. Or counting 1,2 and 3 for him to stop or threats e.g."I already told you not to roll on the cold floor. If you don't stop...", he'll quickly jump up.

I also TRY to praise him when he's good - he's really proud & happy when this happens and claps hands. The psyches say to encourage +ve more than -ve so REALlY trying here LOL

mama of 2LittleFellas said...

your post made me laugh. no doubt dealing with a 2 year old is truly testing on your patient but definitely not on the heart.

trust me- you will want another child :)

btw, thanks for your comment on xango. really appreciate it.

wHOisBaBy said...

my son also the same ... oh my ... he likes to 'dillydally' when i was trying to help him put his cloth to go out, when i need to change his diaper, sometimes really boils inside. hmm ... i think i should start a naughty corner. never thought about that.

KittyCat said... know you've been given the Prettiest Mom tag, right? ;-)

Shireen Loh said...

Sabar mean of me. Frankly, I will have to eat my words but try to be patient. At that age, they can't comprehend alot of things. But I know, easier said than done. Thats why I said I will have to eat my words later *yikes*

ryeli said...

to all of you who have commented - thank u! this post was just a mom's frustrations all built up and then exploded into one lengthy complaint. :D

nonetheless, thank u for your support and ears too.