Mummy’s entry – How vain she can be!

It seems when Rye Li started kindy in January, she has been practicing for their concert which will be held end of this month. I remembered when she first used the word “kompang” (malay for a traditional musical instrument and can also be termed as a drum), I didn’t exactly make out what she was trying to tell me although she told me that she is playing the kompang at class. It was only when I knew that there will be a concert in May, I put two and two together and realized that she has been telling me that they practice their kompang sessions nearly everyday in school (I’m impressed at how early they prepare the kids for the concert).

So naturally, we are all aware at home that this girl with the rest of her classmates will be playing the kompang for their concert and personally, I am very excited for this as this is my first time experiencing such things as a mom.

I did probe with Rye Li whenever I can whether they had practice that day or not. I also asked what does she do with the kompang and she would show me in actions what her steps are and so on. And then I also asked her about her costume and she told me that it’s pink in colour. More than a week back I asked her how her costume is like and she described it being very sexy with a bare back top and I had this vision in my head already. Then few days later, there was a notice in her bag (her kindy got this exercise book in which it is meant for notices to the parents and they’ll make sure that the parents have read and understood it by signing on it) that she’ll need a pair of white socks and black shoes for her concert.

Since it was kind of vague as to what type of shoes she needed, I thought that I would ask her teacher to confirm the kind of shoes she needs. So I managed to get hold of the principal and asked her about it and she told me that Rye Li would need those dainty black shoes for girls (as opposed to sport shoes – don’t know why sport shoes came into my mind when I first saw the notice!) as she would be wearing a baju kurung (traditional malay costumes for girls). When she mentioned this, I nearly burst out in laughter as it is so opposite to the bare back top I have in my mind. And also silly of me for thinking a sexy costume when I very well know she’s playing the kompang. I did ask Rye Li about it that evening, describing how a baju kurung will look like and she confirmed it as that being her costume. I did tell her that there’s no way anyone would be dressing sexily when playing the kompang and she laughed it off.

Anyway, we also just got to know that there will be a rehearsal next week at school and that the parents were given notices to have the kids attend class in their black shoes and white socks plus some makeup on. The girl was so excited about the makeup part as she has always been pestering me to let her wear makeup (she observes me when I wear my makeup) and I have managed to convince her that she can only wear make when she’s older or that if she’s someone’s flower girl at weddings and she has bought it all this while.

This picture was taken during CNY this year when I met up with my girlfriends and one of them who brought her 2 elder girls along had lip gloss with them and my Rye Li got so fascinated by it. I allowed her to wear it (actually my friend’s daughter was the one who put on the lip gloss for her and I had a tough time explaining to her why they had lip gloss with them later on – I knew she would ask me this question after that).

So now my story has changed that she can only wear makeup at concerts (she also laughed at the idea that the boys also need to wear makeup and I told her only at concerts). She is so excited about this that she has been telling everyone that she meets at the daycare (including some mothers that picked their kids up) about it. See how vain my little one can be. She even asked Aunty Ng (the daycare owner) to tie her one ponytail by the side and let some hair fall out. Geez!

As much as she is excited about having to wear makeup, I am very excited about seeing my baby performing at a concert. I don’t how she will fare but regardless of the outcome, I will still be very proud of her. I hope I can update on it when the time comes….I know, I’ve been such a bad blogger these days and I’ve missed out on so many good posts of the girl already.

Mummy's entry - On her conversations

Rye Li being the natural chatterbox that she is never fails to surprise us with what she has to say. At times, she can be really rude as she must always have the last say, of course, with me telling her off for being rude. But still, stubborn as always, she will then give me that “hmmph” look when she knows she can’t answer me as if her actions seem to be louder than her words.

Here are some more of her conversations with us…

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One night many months back, while on the bed getting to sleep, her papa got close to her to give her a goodnight kiss but instead smell her and she went :-

Rye Li: Why you smell me? You think I’m McDonalds? You want to eat me ah?

Or while lying down on the floor watching tv and we accidentally brushed against her, she will go :-

Rye Li: You think I’m a chair? You want to sit on me?

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She loves to complaint about her little mei-mei whenever Haye Li does something wrong. I know she wants to see my reaction towards her mei-mei and I do scold or correct Haye Li when she is in the wrong too. They’re both at the stage where they will fight over a toy or something and at times mine or their papa’s attention. When one does something, the other will follow. It can be so tiring! For events that I didn’t witness and this girl will come to me and complaint about her mei-mei, depending on my mood, I will tell Haye Li off or at times I will tell Rye Li to stay away from her mei-mei especially if she knows her mei-mei is going to snatch her things.

Last nite, Rye Li came to complain to me that Haye Li stepped on her when she was lying down on the mattress. I didn’t see this and I know Haye Li didn’t purposely want to step on Rye Li and she probably want to get to the other side in which Rye Li was in the way. I just took a different approach this time….

Rye Li: Mummy, just now mei-mei step (ped) on me when I was sleeping on the mattress

Mummy: What do you think I should to her? If mummy scold her, she will probably cry and then she will do it again. So how?

Rye Li: Beat her

Mummy: Yea, but she will just cry and then stop. And probably do it again to you. So how? What should we do to mei-mei so she can learn to behave?

Rye Li: Beat harder!

*Maybe a sign I should stop smacking them when they’re naughty*

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On Mother's Day over the weekend, we spent the day at my parent's place and Rye Li was hanging out with her two cousins, Ro Wyn and Jo Tien. My mom (their Grandma) was with them at that time and in their conversation, my niece, Ro Wyn mentioned that "Grandma is fat".

Rye Li replied "You're not fat Grandma, you're just nice. My papa is fat!"

This really made her Grandma's day that day!

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The most interesting of all are her conversations with her papa over the phone when he is away on his business trips. There will always be the duty calls at nights before her bedtime.

A typical conversation will sound like this :-

Rye Li: Papa, where are you now?

Papa: I’m in XXX

Rye Li: You sit aero plane ah?

Papa: Yes

Rye Li: You stay where papa?

Papa: I’m staying at XXX hotel

Rye Li: Oh, you stay with who?

Papa: I’m staying alone

Rye Li: Ok, what are you doing now?

Papa: I’m with my customer having dinner

Rye Li: Your customer what name?

Papa: XXX

Rye Li: Your customer boy or girl?

Papa: Boy

Rye Li: You having your dinner where?

Papa: In a restaurant

Rye Li: What is the restaurant (‘s) name?

Papa: xxx

Rye Li: Papa, what are you eating?

Papa: I’m eating so & so. Ok Rye Li, papa got to go already.

Rye Li: Ok papa. I love you papa. Talk to you tomorrow night. Good night papa (*typical response every time she ends the conversation*)

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At times, the conversations can also be like this…

Rye Li: Papa, you go there for how many nights?

Papa: 2 nights

Rye Li: So you come back Friday ah?

Papa: Yes, I come back Friday night.

Rye Li: Oh, who is that papa? *upon hearing some voices at the background*

Papa: Papa’s friend and customer

Rye Li: What’s your friend (’s) and customer (‘s) name?

Papa: xxx and xxxx

Rye Li: Boy or girl?

Papa: Boy and girl…Uncle XXX and Aunty XXX

Rye Li: They stay with you in your hotel room ah?

Papa: No, they don’t stay at the hotel

Rye Li: Oh. They stay where then?

Papa: I don’t know Rye Li

* Note: I have not taught her at all to ask these questions to her papa and I myself don’t even ask such things of him. God knows where she has learnt how to interrogate her papa like. She would always ask if her papa is with somebody or not and whether that person is staying with him. I wonder if we women are all born natural at asking these questions. LOL!

Update: Diaper-less at nights mission ABORTED!!!

Mummy was so gung-ho in training me to go diaper-less at nights over a month go, the thing is, it only last for 2 weeks! She realized that it was going to be super duper tough to break the habit as I pee like 3-4 times in a night and I can even sleep peacefully on my wet soiled pajamas and bed. So I’m back to diapers at nights (hooray!) and she said when I start to have dry diapers (if ever) in the mornings, she would look into this again.

As much as I know I won’t be getting my Barbie dollhouse soon, I’m cool about it as I don’t get disturbed by mummy to wake up and pee. I think mummy is happy too that she doesn’t need to worry about me wetting my bed anymore.

Mummy's entry - "I hate you!"

There’s always first for everything and I have wondered before whether my kids will ever say those three words to me. I have seen on TV and in real life where kids do say these to their parents and I do find them offending. I cannot recall if I have ever said this to my parents before which I guess means that I didn’t as well as I would remember things like this (of course, if I did say these three words to them before I hit my teens, I seriously would not remember).

Rye Li just said “I hate you!” to me just now. When she said it, I was taken aback and immediately I asked her to repeat what she has just said and I could see in her eyes that she knew she was in the wrong and she kept quiet. I forced her to repeat and eventually she said “I forget (forgot) already”

I’m guessing she learnt this from TV as we never say such things to each other at home. So what actually caused her to say such things?

Well, lately, she has been very rebellious. For some time now, she loves answering me back and at times, she will also be physical with me but she will only lightly beat me or throw soft punches at me or show monkey faces at me especially by showing her tongue at me. She never uses her force on me as she is aware of the consequences after that. Although she is also aware of the consequences that she will face for answering me back or showing her faces at me, this girl loves testing my patience (in hubby’s words, she just loves bullying me). I guess she’s smart in that my punishment for her would be me yelling and threatening her. I have started beating her too sometime last year, usually, hard slaps on her thighs or arms or hands. I could see the shock in her eyes when the first time I really gave her that hard whack, nothing to be proud of but I wanted her to know that I mean business when I’m scolding her.

Before that time, I was never a believer in beating my kids although I was brought up with a cane. It was only when words were not working to discipline her that I bought a cane so that I can use it to threaten her. And then I realized by threatening her with it will not work eventually and I used it twice on her before but they were not hard caning. I don’t have the heart to use it on her really. And she is really scared of the cane. So now, I have been using the cane as a threat a lot, so much so that even Haye Li is terrified of it as she has seen numerous times of Rye Li getting really scared. I don’t even have to use it on them to show them that it hurts as I usually will hit the wall or door very hard just to have that loud whipping sound to scare them off.

Anyhow, back to the story. There were many events leading to the girl not being happy and also me having to scold and nag her. So she was already super duper cranky and black faced when she found out I’m only giving her 4oz of milk to drink before her bedtime [I’ve reduced her milk and water intake at nights due to her still peeing on her bed, being diaper-less]. So when the bottle of milk was given to her, she said “I don’t want to drink milk, only 4oz!” and I was in no mood negotiating with her and replied “It’s okay, don’t drink it then!”. She’s also aware that I was in a foul mood and that was when she went “I hate you!”

Now I’m thinking, whether this toddler of 4 years and 4 months actually is aware of these three words or not. She sure knows how to use it to its proper context for a first timer though. I chose to believe that she doesn’t know exactly what it means and that she’s only influenced heavily by TV (and perhaps I need to relook into what kind of shows she watches).

And also, perhaps, I should look into anger management for myself? I do not like the shouting and nagging part of me, so much so that I’ve become and now termed as a MOMSTER. And I notice the MOMSTER appears when I’m extra tired, stressed and especially when hubby is away on business travels.

I’m sorry Rye Li for always nagging and shouting at you. Mummy doesn’t know how to reverse the impression you have on me that you’ve become smarter in knowing how to irritate mummy more. How-la girl? You also have to help mummy to be a better mummy by not provoking me. Gosh, I’m speaking to you as if you’re a teenager already….LOL. Ok, I hope when you ever get to read this, you are a teenager and that you need to know you also need to do your part and teach me how to be a better mummy ok?! ;) But remember this girl and I know you do, that no matter how angry or mad I am at you, I will always love you!

Mummy’s entry – training to be diaper-less at nights

Since weaning Haye Li has been so easy, I thought I might as well trained Rye Li to be diaper-less at nights while I still have a helper. Also, it would save us some money as well.

I have been telling Rye Li for months that she is a big girl already and that she doesn’t need to wear diapers at night especially since she does not wear diapers during daytime for quite some time now. But she refused and I also I was too lazy to force her then.

So lately, I took a different approach and told her that her diapers in a year costs me RM400 and with that money, I can buy her a Barbie Doll’s house (actually, I have no idea how much a Barbie Doll’s house costs and whether there is a such thing too). Her immediate response was “Ok mummy, I don’t want to wear diapers already and I will wee-wee in the potty in my room!” (I told her that a potty will be put in the room for her easy access).

We are into the 7th night already training her and how has it been? It’s been a total failure and my sleep disruption is getting worst with not only Haye Li waking me up through the nights but Rye Li too.

First night – I learnt that this lazy bum will not get up to pee so I had to get up to make her pee. She peed 2 times on the bed and 1 time managed to pee in the potty. Of course, we had to change her pajamas too and her bed sheet in the morning.

Second night – I made sure that I will wake up through the nights to make her pee but I failed the first wake up call and she is to blame as who would have thought she would pee after like 1 hour plus into her sleep from her last pee. But the remaining two times were successful. Her pajamas and bed sheet were again changed.

Third night – Only successful night! And I made sure I praised her like mad and I was pretty sure that this is IT to having her fully trained. I woke up 3 times to make her pee; 1st one at 11 plus pm (yes, I sleep that early now coz I’m so sleep deprived), 2nd one at 2 plus am and 3rd one at 5 plus am. She wakes up at 7am and I also made sure she pees first before taking her milk.

Fourth night – She peed once and that was because I couldn’t wake up on time to make her pee. This was earlier in the night and I also put layers of nappy cloth under her so her bed sheet was totally dried up in the morning.

Fifth night – She peed twice and this time she got serious scolding from me as after the first round of peeing and me having to change her and all; the next round when I woke her up, she refused to pee and went back to sleep. And true enough, shortly after that, she peed again. The bed sheet was changed again.

Sixth night – She peed three times! Partly my fault too as I was too tired to get up on time but I was surprised as to how much pee she has in the potty with her 3 attempts at it too.

I am now thinking of not letting her drink any water at nights anymore and only her milk which is like 7oz at her bedtime. And also probably I will need to set the alarm to have me wake up on time to make her pee.

Tonight is the 7th night and I’m so dead tired and as much as part of me wants to go back to letting her wear her diapers, another part of me is also determined to continue this training. I have been psyching her to get up own self but no such luck yet. There has got to be a better way. I’m so envious of my close friend’s daughter who is 2 weeks apart from Rye Li and has not been wearing diapers since she was 1 year plus (she was having dry diapers in the mornings then which led her mom to just let her go diaperless). Rye Li has never ever gotten a dry diaper at all in the mornings and I’m also wondering whether it’s in the genes since I used to wet my bed until I was like 7-8 years old.

Should I just let her wear diapers till she wears it out herself and stop torturing myself further?!!!!

Mummy's entry - Cheng Meng

This is Rye Li’s first visit to the cemetery. Haye Li and I didn’t go as I feel Haye Li is still too young and also she’s not feeling well.

Actually, I do not know what is the right age for kids to visit the graveyard but as far back as I can remember, I know I visited my ancestors graves when I was really young. I had loads of fun then with our annual ritual, visiting my paternal great grandmother’s grave, and then to my paternal grandfather’s before visiting his other 3 wives’ graves (he had 4 wives and my actual grandmother was the last to leave this world when I was 16 years old).

So as you can tell, my dad’s side of the family is huge which is why we kids had loads of fun literary playing around the graves on top of paying our respects to our ancestors. Of course, the last time I did this for my dad’s side was the year before I got married and that time also, wasn’t as fun as before as my girl cousins (we have more girls than boys) were all married already and it was only my brother and I from our generation that was presented other than my uncles and aunties. Anyhow, I still miss the rituals although we have to get up very early in the morning.

Since I married into the Lim’s family nearly 7 years ago, I only visited hubby’s paternal grandmother’s grave once at Ipoh and I got valid reasons as I got pregnant with Rye Li after that and she was too young to visit the grave in her first year. At that time, I thought I would bring her in her second year when a friend of mine told me that it’s not advisable to bring young kids to the graveyard. Last year, when she was just over 3 years old, I wanted her to follow hubby to Ipoh while I will be at home with Haye Li but somehow she wasn’t feeling well and we scraped the idea.

This year we felt Rye Li has matured enough to travel the distance to Ipoh and that it is a good learning experience for her as well. Also, after explaining what Cheng Meng is about, she wanted to go. She was also happy with the fact that I allowed her to use her Barbie umbrella for the first time ever since she got it as a birthday present last year.

So early this morning at 6am, she followed hubby, his parents and brother to Ipoh. Hubby said that she was alright with the journey and the whole experience altogether. I wasn’t too worried about the long journey as she was so well behaved last September when she followed hubby alone in the car to Kuala Besut (for a holiday at Perhentian Island – another backdated post in which when I have the time).

When they returned just now, she reported that she had fun and when I asked her what she did, she went “I went to pai-pai (pray) la”. She also visited a family friend's vegetable farm after that and had some fun at the farm.

Following are the very few pictures hubby managed to take…

freshly wide awake early in the morning in the car still in pajamas

all geared up after that to make the visit

with her barbie umbrella, very happy to be able to use it to good use since it is banned inside the house

with ah kong and ah por

with the joss-sticks, paying respect to great grandmother

at the vegetable farm

posing with the brinjals (eggplants)

papa had to coax her to pluck the coconuts

Guess this is Rye Li’s first and many more to come. I think I will wait till Haye Li is at least 3 years old before we all go as a family.